What makes a Man (From One Woman’s Point of View)

    Man. Manly Man. Sissy Man. Macho Man. Girly Man. Gentleman. Boyz II Men. All of these are references of the person a young boy grows to be, whether they be positive or negative. When a male human reaches adulthood he is usually referred to as ‘a man.’ But what does it really mean to be ‘a man’?

    The answer to that would most certainly differ depending upon whom you asked. An older guy might say something different then a younger, though not always, and women would vary greatly on their answer depending on how much of a lady they were. What makes a lady is an entirely different ballroom to dance in however, so I will not linger there. Suffice it to say answers would be based on gender, what the person knew, their age, personality/state of mind, there maturity level, their religion, how they had been raised and by whom and in some cases there degree of confidence in themselves.

    This paper is not an attempt to categorize an ultimatum for what a man is, but rather, as it says in the title, simply my view of a true man. I speak for no one but myself. So to start I will use the above list to honestly clarify myself as a person.

      I am female, and I will say I have been somewhat guarded in my experiences of life, experiencing many things second-hand rather then first. Though do not presume that to mean I have not had my fair share of head on encounters with life’s abuses and pleasures. I assure you, it is quite the contrary. I am just exiting my teen years, and while there are many who say I am of a mind beyond my years in logic and discernment I consider my self still to be naïve of many things and willingly innocent of others. My greatest joy is to hear others laugh, and there is little I won’t do to encourage even as little as a smile. My friends sometimes call me a walking contradiction, as I am extremely logical, practical, and even scientifical, while at the same time I hold fiercely to a childlike love and awe of all things fantastical. I am a devoted Christian, PCA(Presbyterian Church of America) to be specific, and I was raised in a Christian home, yet my belief is not a shallow grip on another’s words but rather is based from a thorough questioning of all that I was taught and finding it all to be true. My biological parents split up when I was 4 years old, and both were remarried by the time I was eight. I live with my mother and stepfather and only see my biological father on rare occasion. On a scale of one to ten I would have to say my confidence level in myself was around an eight.

     Now if you are still with me, first, I am impressed you still interested, second, you will now have a clearer understanding of where it is my view’s come from. So onto the real question here: What makes a man?

     Is it his accumulation of money or ability to come by it? Is it his muscular frame and rock hard emotions? Or perhaps it is his rugged good looks and success with the gentler sex?

     I hear many answer ‘yes’ to one or all of the above on a daily basis. But to all of them I give a resounding ‘never.’ Absolutely none of these qualities, in my opinion would ever make a real man. Simply a boy on a larger scale.

     No, the first attribute in a true man that catches my eye is his confidence in himself. This is not by any means to be mistaken for arrogance, which is nothing but a false, grasping, attempt at confidence. While it is not the most important attribute, confidence is the first thing I see because it is impossible to miss. A confident man radiates a certain aura of nobility that cares not for what he looks like or in what he is clothed. He has no need for approval and any insecurities he might have are known to him and are kept controlled. It should also be noted that this confidence does not necessarily make him stoic in appearance, that is strictly a personality trait, I have seen many confident men who are quite pleasant to be around and are very sociable.

      Second, and the most important to me:  A true man has a deep relationship with God. Now this is where many disagree with me, in fact usually only those who are also Christian would be inclined to agree with this attribute. But nonetheless it is my opinion that a real man would have a heart for God and a desire to learn more about Him and teach his family about Him. Why is this so important to me? Because men who have their eyes turned to God, tend to have every other attribute regardless of whether or not they had it before they knew Christ. They leave contented lives, not always happy-- Because there is no life that is always happy, if it were we would not appreciate it.--  and in times of trouble they will seek God’s direction. Trust me, God’s direction will always lead to good places in the end. He will strive to raise his children in a Godly home, and men who truly seek God usually make superb fathers and even better husbands.

       Now it should be noted, this does not mean that he has an obsession in memorizing scripture or lives in a church or some crazy mess like that. Not at all. He knows he is by no means perfect but also knows that God IS perfect and does his best to follow in those foot steps even though he knows he will fail many times. God will always be there to help him back up, and to encourage him to keep going. He has faith in his belief that God has a plan for him. A plan to prosper him and not to harm him.  A heart for God cannot be hidden, it is a passion, a light, that shines from anyone who has it, for everyone to see.

      Third: Ambition. A real man will have a strong desire to always improve himself. Mentally, physically, and Spiritually. This is connected to confidence in the fact that he knows he can go far and had the initiative to take the steps to get there. Real ambition, by the way, the kind that can really be trusted, is the kind that appears before a girl is present in this man’s life. There are many ‘men’ who suddenly have ambition when they fall for a girl, they want to ‘give her the world’ and all of that mess, which is pretty and fun to hear, but usually disappears after the girl falls for him in return. This is not to say that a true man’s ambitions will not change when he falls for a girl, just so long as he had it before hand.

      Fourth: Compassion. Please by all means do not think that this means ‘sensitive’ as the world put it now days. I by no means consider a sniveling fool to be a man. No a man with compassion is a man who has a heart. A  man who can see those in need and is willing to help them in anyway he can. Perhaps on occasion when the time truly calls for it he will cry, sob even on extremely rare occasions of sorrow, but he has enough pride to not let it be seen by anyone but the woman of his life.

    Fifth: Intelligence. Naturally a real man has a head on his shoulders. He is educated and uses it. He is deep in his thoughts and discusses them with an open mind.

    Sixth: Honors his word. A real man will always back up promises he has made. If he doubts that he can fulfill it, he will not say he can.

    Seventh: Chivalrous. A true man honors and respects a Lady, whether she herself acts like one or not. He is gracious to her, but not condescending. He respects her for her knowledge and while never presuming her incapable of doing any given task will always offer his aid. He will protect her in every way. Whether she is in danger or if it is her innocence and virtue at stake, he will take whatever measures necessary to ensure her safety.

    These are simply seven attributes I consider a real man to have. Now in actuality there a numerous other little things that a man should have, mostly pertaining to a noble character. However chances are if he has these, he will have the others as well. So I will not bore you further by mentioning them as well! If you have in fact read this far, I thank you for your time and hope that I have perhaps caused you to ponder some things. Be they positive or negative ponderments, all I ask is that you think on them.